I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
