so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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