Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
