I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
