Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
