I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
