brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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