So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
