College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
