I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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