Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
