Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
