Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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