i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
