My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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