Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
