So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
