The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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