can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
