i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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