yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
