the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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