i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
