I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
4 words: hood of his car
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
