How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
