a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
