What did we do last night that was yellow?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize