Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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