I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
