What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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