i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
