I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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