I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
