His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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