Sponge bath it is.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
