Im at strip club and am horny
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't turn off my feet"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
