yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
