I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
