You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do vagina's smell?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
