Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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