I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
