He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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