Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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