does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I FOUND THE LEGS
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
