she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
