Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
