look no pants
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was CRYING into my vagina
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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