very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
