If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
