he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
