There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
MIDGETS
????
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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