It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
