She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
