College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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