this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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