Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
