He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
