what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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