All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
