Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
