And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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