I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
