just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just had sex bonerless
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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